The last 4 days of hiking were great. I graduated to cowboy camping with Ally (sleeping outside of tent, with just sleeping pad and sleeping bag).

She left today and it dawned on me that I’ll be all alone from this point on. Now, that’s always been the plan so wasn’t too anxious until I saw the water report, which tells you what areas have water. Looks like I’m going to have to carry my max amount of water I have bottles/bladders for (7 liters)  which is over 15 extra lbs of water. My feet – which have been swelling up to the point it’s super painful – are not going to appreciate that but there are SO many miles without water that I get super anxious. 

They say you carry your fears on the trail (if you’re scared of some horrible injury, you’ll have a huge first aid kit, etc) and that’ll be very true for me. I’ve been on long hikes and have run out of water. It absolutely freaks me out. 

On top of that, I just had to buy another pair of expensive trail runners – a whole ‘nother size up – to accommodate these crazy blisters and swelling I’m experiencing. I sent them to Julian – a small town which has a post office that’s only open certain hours so I have to take another zero day there from the looks of it so I can get the shoes right when they open on Monday. It’ll be worth it though – my feet are killing me, despite elevating them constantly throughout the day and every night.

I’m also seeing so many people rushing past me. What’s the rush??? I don’t understand. Is this a race??? For me, it’s not but its also hard not to compare myself to the other people and see myself lacking in their stamina. 6 years ago, when I was 23(ish), I could hike in circles around people. Now, I’m not in the best shape.  Then I start to question myself and my ability to even do this. That makes me pissed (at myself) and then I’m just feeling stuck. I can’t turn back but am resenting myself every time I take a break to the point it’s detrimental. This hiking business is very mental and already I’m all mentally screwed up. Time to get my head straight!!

In funny news: I met a fellow blogger today that I follow (mountainsarecalling – ) at Mt Laguna. She got a pic of it.  How wonderful these people on the trail are!! So many amazing, open minded and cool people. I can’t even describe how many things I learn daily from these people. 

Another cool thing was that I went to The Outfitter in town to get a “shakedown” (where they go through all contents of your backpack and see what you can get rid of to lower your pack weight) and “Puppy” (her trail name for all you non hikers)  went through my stuff and barely found anything to get rid of so that made me feel good. My base weight is around 16 1/2 – 17 lbs. yay!!!

I’m going to get some serious sleep tonight and adjust my mentality.  There is no way I’m going to last with this negativity I’m carrying around.

Enough talk. Here are some pics:


Mile 26 water break and hiker socializing πŸ‘†πŸ»


Just before Lake Morena πŸ‘†πŸ»


With Gaiter Gang and Ally on day 2 πŸ‘†πŸ»


Crazy this is how my days are now!!! 


Officially graduated to cowboy camper!! Proof πŸ‘†πŸ»!!!

5 thoughts on “Blah

  1. Wow sleeping without a tent! The only time I’ve done this was in the desert where there are definitely no small spiders and questionable mammals to bother me during my slumber – weren’t you nervous? Beautiful pics πŸ™‚ your hike sounds amazing!

    Liked by 1 person

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