Just over it

/ skahlua912

Think I have a fever. Achy, have chills, lungs hurt and feel like I’m burning up.

Having been made to wait for an albergue to open for hours while sopping wet and freezing wasn’t helpful either. I’d pled with the lady to let me come in earlier but she was adamant that I wait until 2 (and I was there by 11am). And they kick you out by 8am and no hotel in sight so no chance to sleep in.

Just over it. My mind wants to keep going but body is shutting down apparently.

It’s been enjoyable up to this point but when you’re alone and sick, it just becomes more and more noticeable that you’re truly alone in this world and you don’t matter. What the fuck is the point of all this? It’s easy to go down a dark dark path when already feeling shitty (which for me is  realizing nobody has even bothered to text me or would even know if I died, including my mom who doesn’t talk to me which then leads to darker thoughts and contemplating suicide. It’s always a relief thinking of it) so trying to keep my own morale up. 

Ugh. Hope I feel better by tomorrow. Been chugging Emergen-Cs. 

Will post lovely pics and things later if things start looking up. 

10 thoughts on “Just over it”

  1. Hey,

    Sounds like you’re having a crappy day. Just wanted to chime in and say that I always look forward to seeing your posts in my inbox. I’m hoping this reply brightens your day a little bit and that you know that there are people out there who are rooting for you.

    Looking forward to seeing some awesome photos!

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    • Super crappy day but you’re totally right. And I sooooo appreciate your words. Seriously. Means a lot. Will post more pics later along with real updates… have a lot to say. Just need to sit down and have time to write it all out 🙂

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  3. I would notice if you died.

    Don’t give up yet. You’ll get through this. It’s just another part of your adventure. Maybe not pleasant right now, but an experience you will never forget and that will make a mark on you (leave a scar?) that shapes who you are. Aren’t adventures great!

    Chin up. I’m pulling for you.

    Love,
    Glide

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    • Hello dear friend! Its 6am and I still feel like poop. So taking another day here as much as it hurts to have everyone I’ve been walking with basically leave me behind for sure. Maybe this is what was meant to be though. Either way, can’t afford another hotel night so leaving the next day one way or the other

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    • Hahahaha! Love those lyrics although, in reality, my mom would definitely not have said such wise words since she shunned me a while back😂 but resting up. Trying to keep it positive or at least neautral in my head. Can’t help being sick and mentally down….

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    • It’s tiny town. Not going back to Pamplona. The taxis here are rip offs: would cost more in time and transport that it’s essentially the same here.

      As morbid as that last sentence is, it’s true! I’ve said that to myself many times. Lol

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