Insanity!!!!!

I can hardly sleep. Been up since 7:30, going through stuff – throwing them away, packing. Then, trying to edit my pack, I realized I’m carrying wayyyyyyyy too much food, considering there are cheeseburgers and water after the first 20 miles (a little over 32kilometers for you Europeans). So now, am actually sending a few resupply boxes even though I wasn’t intending on it (Mt Laguna, Warner Springs, Ziggy & the Bear). Will be sending my friends in Idyllwild and Big Bear some stuff too. Probably won’t even want 1/2 of it by the time I reach them but oh well!! 🙂 

My place looks like a PCT tornado hit it (and this is after I threw stuff away!!)

   

What’s the opposite of a hoarder?

Within 20 minutes, I had these huge bags full of clothes and shoes and trunk is now full of stuff to donate to the nearest domestic violence place. 

  

I was seriously tempted to just put everything in bags and donate it all but I had to restrain myself. I had to keep reminding myself that I’ll be coming back so I have to have some semblance of a wardrobe left. 

What’s the opposite of a hoarder? Whatever it is, I think it’d describe me. 

Feels good to get that done; though I’m sure I’ll end up chucking even more material shit out once I’m boxing things up.  The one thing I can’t seem to throw away are my poetry books and CDs (yes, I have most of them in my iTunes but still!!!!). 

So much to do. Bought last minute small items like super glue, platypus (apparently the Platy bottle fits with the grooves on my Sawyer Squeeze, unlike my Smartwater bottles so worth getting it), more snacks, etc.

On another planning note: I looked at Craig’s PCT planner today and it says, at my estimated plan, I wouldn’t get to to the Southern Terminus until Sep 20th which is 8 days after my birthday and has no zeroes taken into account so I realized I really will have to boogie. Was hoping I could cruise a bit at the start but might have to step it up. But we’ll see. I’m not going to try to figure that out until I get closer and know my body’s stamina for the day to day hiking. 

Will keep you posted! 

Embracing It All

I was driving 3-4 weeks ago on the 2 (freeway) to meet a new friend to hike. An Imagine Dragons song came on and I started crying (I blame it on the hormones). I felt this tremendous sense of ugliness, like I was the ugliest creature on Earth, being this fat. Like I would never be someone that inspired such a beautiful song. Then a side thought popped in my head “at least I have my beautiful blonde hair”. This satisfied me for about a nanosecond but then I had this sudden and undeniable urge to shave it all off.

And then it dawned on me: I’m shaving my head for the trail. I’ve wanted to do it for over a decade, since Sinead O’Connor and having watched the G.I. Jane movie so why not? I’m already in this and there’s no turning back anyway so why not go all out and do it all? Why not take away the last vestiges of my vanity? 

Plus, on the practical end, I won’t have to deal with heavy and greasy hair on the trail. It will be sooooo easy to clean. Fuck it if I might have a lumpy head. I truly don’t care if I do!

Mind you, this all took place in the span of about a minute and the Imagine Dragons “Shots” song  was still playing and I just listened to it on repeat and cried in relief the rest of the drive. Something about embracing my self-hatred in this accepting way made me feel so free. I’m doing something I’ve never had the balls to do before!!! Hot diggety dog!! Yes!

Pictures to come, my readers. Beware, there might be tears!

Nothing like gaining confidence

Finished my 2 day WFA (Wilderness First Aid) class and am certified!!!

I learnt so much and met some amazing people. Everyone was so nice and funny. Reaffirmed for me that these type of people (into hiking/outdoors activities), no matter the background, are my sort of people. 

My brain is officially fried for today from the overload of information but we got to practice so much that it actually DID absorb and I feel so much more confident should I come across a fellow hiker In need of medical attention or even notice anything with myself. Sigh! Me so happy!